I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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