idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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