trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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