trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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