he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I want her autograph on my taint
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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