he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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