is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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