I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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