So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
