I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
