it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
