where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
