Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
