every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
