I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
