so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
