Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
