He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
