Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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