I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
