remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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