You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
