butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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