i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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