Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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