It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
