They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
