so explain again why im purple
no
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
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