hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
