Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
