No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
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