He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Are my feet made of real feet?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
