there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
