good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
