I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
