She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
