do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
