True but thats because hes a fetus.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Someone shattered a urinal.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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