Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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