don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
