I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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