cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
