This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
