so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
