i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
