I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
