I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
