um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
