I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
