can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Randomize
