so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
