..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
