so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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