Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
